"The Conniver"

Luke 16:1-8

Children: 

      When I was out in the parking lot this morning I saw Gwen and Harley drive up in their van.  When they got out of the van I saw a piece of green paper fall to the ground when they weren’t looking.  I went over and picked it up., and yippee, $20!  I could sure make good use of this $20.  I can rent a video, buy some pizza, or put some gasoline in my tank.  I found it, so it’s mine, right?  No?  Why not?  You think it’s wrong, that it’s dishonest, that it’s stealing?  Well, I’ve done Gwen and Harley a lot of favors, don’t you think they owe it to me?  No, you still think that’s dishonest, that it’s stealing?  ?  OK, then, how about this, when I buy the pizza I’ll share it with all of you.  When I rent the video I’ll invite you over to watch it with me.  Or I’ll pour some of the gasoline into your tank.  I’m being real generous.  You still think this is stealing, that it’s still dishonest?  Well, OK, here’s what I’ll do, I’m going to contribute it to the backpack program.  If I take the money and then give it to a good project then I won’t keep a penny of it for myself, it will go to help some hungry children right here in our town.  

      Has something ever been stolen from you?  What did it feel like?  Hurt, angry, sad?  Have you ever stolen something from someone else?  How did you feel about it?  What things did you tell yourself to make it seem OK. 

     The Gospel story today is about a man who gets caught stealing.  Let’s see what happens. 

Adults:

      Have you ever been caught?  Your mom sees your hand in the cookie jar, the flashing light of the police car in your rearview mirror, you call in sick to work and a co-worker sees you at the shopping mall?  What does it feel like?   That feeling of being caught?

      We have reason to believe that you have been up to something.  So first thing tomorrow an elder is coming over to your house to examine your life from top to bottom, to look at your financial records, your school report cards all the way back to kindergarten and your medical records, then we’ll look at the contents of your refrigerator, all of your e-mail, even the dusty trunk in the attic with those old love letters.  We think you’ve been up to something, and we’re going to check it out.  Elders, are you ready?

      For thirty years I’ve been a member of credit union in Rochester.  When it was first getting started my friend Warren was on the Board of Directors of the Credit Union.  One of the things I learned from him concerned surprise audits.  The National Credit Union Association – with just one day’s notice – would send an auditor to check the books.  This meant that all of the financial records had to be in perfect order.  It also meant that the Board of Directors would stay up all night getting everything in order for the audit.  Warren and the others were feeling, what could we call it  Stress?  Huge stress!  They had to account for every penny, or they would be in big trouble!

      There once was a business with an embezzling employee. An embezzler is someone who steals from an employer.  As this man received payments from customers for the goods sold by his company, a lot of money passed through his hands.  "If only I could keep some of that money for myself," he often thought. Then one day he took some of that money, put it in his own pocket and no one noticed.  I don't know what he did with the money.   Maybe he bought a new home, maybe he bought jewelry for his girlfriend, or maybe he threw wild parties for his friends.  I don't know what he did with the money, all that I know is that he kept stealing, and no one spotted it.  He was confident that he would get away with his crime.  

      But one day the owner of the business said to him, “Something fishy is going on around here.  First thing in the morning I want you to bring in all of your financial records, and the auditors are going to get to the bottom of this!”  Uh-oh!   Someone was about to be CAUGHT!

     The employee was in deep trouble.  His crime would be discovered.  The auditors would easily spot what money he couldn't account for.  Then the auditors would tell the owner about large amounts of money missing.  The employee knew he would  be fired, and probably go to jail.  What could he do to save his neck?  He had to think fast, because the audit would begin the next day.  What to do? 

      He came up with a plan.  He spent the rest of the day meeting his employer's customers and offered to reduce the amount that they owed, from 100 tons of wheat to 80 tons, from 100 barrels of oil to 50 barrels.  He erased big numbers, and wrote in smaller numbers.  In this way the ledger would be balanced and there would be no evidence of theft.  A conniver is someone who gets others to go along with a dishonest scheme.  His plan worked because the customers would never say a thing about his dishonesty, because they had just saved a lot of money.  It was a great plan.  He'd covered up all the evidence of his dishonesty.

      Did he get away with it?  After the auditors submitted their report, the employee was called into the owner's office.  What will happen?  Remember, now, it’s Jesus telling the story.  At this point, the people who were listening expect the employer to say, "You're fired!".  They could almost hear the sound of the handcuffs as that rotten criminal was led off to jail.  The message of the story was easy to guess:  Don’t steal, cheat, or lie, because you'll get caught.  God is like an auditor who spots all your sins.   Those who do wrong will be punished.  There can be no escaping it.  This is what they expected Jesus to say to finish his story.   

      But, get this!  The owner did not fire the man.  There were no handcuffs.  Instead, this employee who had been caught embezzling, is being praised for his ingenuity.  Are you surprised by this ending to the story?  What’s going on here? Is Jesus encouraging us to be connivers who get away with their crimes?   

      But here’s what it’s about:  Jesus tells a story about a scheming conniver to make a point about your faith.  If only Christians were as eager and as enterprising and as ingenious in seeking God's goodness as this embezzling employee was eager and enterprising in covering up his dishonesty.  The truth is:  we make all kinds of schemes to look out for ourselves, but scheme nothing at all for God.  If only we had the presence of mind, the eagerness, to act on God's behalf in this way. Embezzlers work hard to protect themselves from being discovered.  If only Christians worked as hard to let their faith shine in the lives of the people around us.  Jesus doesn’t excuse the dishonest employee, but he does admire how boldly and resolutely the man sought to save his life.  He is challenging them:  "Why don't you act like that employee when it comes to living the life of faith?"